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 BarfMogFebruary 28th 1985 (Age 26) Male Barberton
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Jul 5, 2011
It seems that I'm always here
Here I am alone again. Sometimes I wish my best friend wasn't such an idiot. What the fuck. I wish he would stop lying to make himself appear cooler. I wish he would stop cutting people down to rise above them. I love the kid though. Whatever. Some people don't even have a best friend. It sucks that I've been writing about this inevitable phase in my life for almost 10 years now, and it's finally here. I always knew I would hate it, and now I'm here, and I hate it. What the fuck is normal anyways? My job, my ambitions, most of my morals....I only have these things because I know that it's what normal people are supposed to do. I want more freedom. I want more time. I don't want money, I don't want to buy a house, I don't want another promotion. I just want my life back. I need to stop letting the world tell me who I should be. Fuck them.
How could I have let 10 years break me down so fucking much?
Posted at 02:26 am by BarfMog
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Oct 8, 2010
I think its about time we raised awareness for cancers that actually kill people. I mean, who dies from breast cancer anymore? The survival rate is well over 90%. Lung cancer actually kills people. Liver cancer and esophagal cancer kill people. Lets slap a red ribbon for lung cancer on our products and actually help people while we're raping America in the name of something that no one actually gives a shit about. Fuck you.
Posted at 05:13 am by BarfMog
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Aug 7, 2010
I wish you could understand what I feel when I hear goldfinger. I think of you. Sean, Mike, Leslie, Tracy, the Surfer sisters, squirrel, big mike. I can't hear that album and not think of bettter times. I miss hurricanes.
Posted at 04:21 am by BarfMog
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May 28, 2010
My beliefs, my ideas, and my opinions on religion, are worth more than yours. Why? Because I did my homework. I've examined both sides. I've been on both sides. I was once a slave the same bible you have collecting dust on your bookshelf. I actually read it. I studied it. I researched, on my own, every little contradiction. Every inconsistency. Every historical claim. Don't try to tell me our beliefs are equal, and that they're all just opinions anyways. You have no idea what you believe, or why you believe it.
But I do.
You believe in God because you can't handle the idea of not existing after you die. You believe because you're afraid to think that your dead friends and family members are actually gone. You believe because your parents believed. You believe because you're afraid of being alone. I am not afraid.
Take the time to learn what actually happens to you when you die. Do it right now. The information is out there, readily available. Read it. Understand it. Believe it. Now isn't that so much more beautiful than you imagined heaven to be?
Posted at 12:34 am by BarfMog
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Feb 2, 2010
7:17 AM. I'm awake. Watching the same episode of Sportscenter that's been replaying all night.
I'm not sure how I should feel about the death of blogging. I miss it. I miss writing in general. I think blogging was mostly a high school thing for me. I probably hung on to it for a little too long. I've tried several times to start it up again, but it just doesn't feel the same. I wrote the way I did, and I wrote the things I wrote about, because I was that kind of person. I was the kind of person who had deep thoughts and I knew (hoped) people wanted to hear about them and join in on the discussion. It also helped people to know me better. Back then, I wanted people to know me better. Not so much anymore. I miss having multitudes of friends who I hung out with every night, but that's not me anymore. I have 2 friends, and a shitload of "back in the day" friends, and a shitload of acquaintances. One of my friends is moving out of state soon. Sooner than later, I will have 1 friend. This has been the coldest winter of my life.
Sometimes i try to sound sadder than I am in real life. I'll wake up tomorrow and be happy with my life, until I have to go to work. Third shifts fucks up my whole mood. It fucks up my whole social life. It fucks up everything. I hate my job. I totaled my car a month and a half ago. I'm still making payments on it because the guy who caused the accident is fighting it. Now I'm driving a POS that could break down at any minute. It sounds like a terrible situation to be in, but it's really not. I was sick of having a car payment anyways. Once i pay it off, or the other guy pays it off, I will be free from the worst financial decision I have ever made.
Time heals all wounds....and I've got nothing but time.
Posted at 07:17 am by BarfMog
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May 30, 2007
I just wanted you to know that it was never, ever, ever, ever, about anyone else but you. I've always cared about your happiness more than my own. I always put you before me. I was always hurting myself in order to help you. Well, that's over. You will not take advantage of my heart anymore.
Posted at 01:39 am by BarfMog
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Apr 30, 2006
High school was so 3 years ago
Posted at 02:02 am by BarfMog
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Mar 29, 2006
Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're a piece of shit.
I honestly don't know why I do this to you. I don't know why I do it to myself. I don't know why I do much of anything anymore. I'm just flowing. Floating through life right now, with no plan or motivation to change it in any way. I've been offered jobs making a lot more money, and I just ignore them. I'm fine with making what I make, because I hate switching jobs. I hate having to start over and learn everything again. Fuck that. I don't want to go to school because I hate everything it represents, and everything surrounding the idea. I'm fine where I'm at. I guess. Maybe. I don't really know. Everything is just way too simple right now.
I think I'm bored. Weed sucks. I'm on house arrest. I can't drink. I smoke pot to pass the time. I work too much. I don't act on my feelings as much as I should. I don't feel bad about people dying. Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely sure I even believe in death. I just can't imagine that we just stop existing. I think it should be called "Awakening", instead of "death". We're trapped in something, I just don't know what it is yet. I have always believed that the world only exists in my mind. If I die, everyone dies. Sucks to be not me.
I also think that this may be part of the reasoning behind the birth of religion. People don't want to believe that their life just disappears, so they make something up to comfort them. Ok, I'm not gonna get into religion again. It's too long of a subject.
This is your brain on drugs.
Posted at 03:20 am by BarfMog
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Feb 16, 2006
but I'm shrinking with them, so it's ok.
Posted at 05:20 am by BarfMog
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Jan 30, 2006
Out of state, out of mind
You're not that fucking cool of a person so stop calling me. The answer to 99% of your questions is NO. NO, you're not a good person. NO, you're not better off this way. NO, it wasn't the place. NO, it wasn't the people. YES, it was you.
Posted at 01:23 am by BarfMog
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