I honestly don't know why I do this to you. I don't know why I do it to myself. I don't know why I do much of anything anymore. I'm just flowing. Floating through life right now, with no plan or motivation to change it in any way. I've been offered jobs making a lot more money, and I just ignore them. I'm fine with making what I make, because I hate switching jobs. I hate having to start over and learn everything again. Fuck that. I don't want to go to school because I hate everything it represents, and everything surrounding the idea. I'm fine where I'm at. I guess. Maybe. I don't really know. Everything is just way too simple right now.

I think I'm bored. Weed sucks. I'm on house arrest. I can't drink. I smoke pot to pass the time. I work too much. I don't act on my feelings as much as I should. I don't feel bad about people dying. Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely sure I even believe in death. I just can't imagine that we just stop existing. I think it should be called "Awakening", instead of "death". We're trapped in something, I just don't know what it is yet. I have always believed that the world only exists in my mind. If I die, everyone dies. Sucks to be not me.

I also think that this may be part of the reasoning behind the birth of religion. People don't want to believe that their life just disappears, so they make something up to comfort them. Ok, I'm not gonna get into religion again. It's too long of a subject.

This is your brain on drugs.